The Coming War

“There will be a war in Europe,
Thrones will be rent and overturned,”

(“Go and fetch a pail of water,” said his wife).

“Nations shall go down in slaughter,
Ancient capitals be burned,”

(“Hurry up and split the kindlings,” said his wife).

“Cities wrapped in conflagration!
Nation decimating nation!
Chaos crashing through creation!”

(“Go along and feed the chickens,” said his wife).

“And the war shall reach to Asia,
And the Orient be rent,”

(“When you going to pay the grocer?” says his wife).

“And the myrmidons of thunder
Shake the trembling continent,”

(“Hurry up and beat them carpets,” said his wife).

“Million myriads invading,
Rapine, rioting, and raiding,
Conquest, carnage, cannonading!”

(“Wish you’d come and stir this puddin’,” said his wife).

“Oh, it breaks my heart, this conflict
Of the Slav and Celt and Dane,”

(“Bob has stubbed his rubber boots on,” said his wife).

“Oh, the draggled Russian banners!
Oh, the chivalry of Spain!”

(“We have got no more molasses,” said his wife).

“See the marshalled millions led on
With no bloodless sod to tread on,
Gog and Magog! Armageddon!”

(“Hurry up and get a yeast cake,” said his wife).

“Oh, the grapple of the nations,
It is coming, woe is me!”

(“Did you know we’re out of flour?” said his wife).

“Oh, the many-centuried empires
Overwhelmed in slaughter’s sea!”

(“Wish you’d go and put the cat out,” said his wife).

“Death and dreadful dissolution
Wreak their awful execution,
Carnage, anarchy, confusion!”

(“Let me have two cents for needles,” said his wife.

“All my love goes out to Europe,
And my heart is torn and sad,”

(“How can I keep house on nothing?” said his wife).

“O, the carnival of carnage,
O, the battle, malestrom mad!”

(“Wish you’d battle for a living,” said his wife).

“Down in smoke and blood and thunder,
While the stars look on in wonder,
Must these empires all go under?”

(“Where’re we going to get our dinner?” said his wife).

– Sam Walter Foss

The Song of Wandering Aengus

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done,
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

– William Butler Yeats

Bagpipe Music

It’s no go the merrygoround, it’s no go the rickshaw,
All we want is a limousine and a ticket for the peepshow.
Their knickers are made of crepe-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with head of bison.

John MacDonald found a corpse, put it under the sofa,
Waited till it came to life and hit it with a poker,
Sold its eyes for souvenirs, sold its blood for whiskey,
Kept its bones for dumbbells to use when he was fifty.

It’s no go the Yogi-man, it’s no go Blavatsky,
All we want is a bank balance and a bit of skirt in a taxi.

Annie MacDougall went to milk, caught her foot in the heather,
Woke to hear a dance record playing of Old Vienna.
It’s no go your maidenheads, it’s no go your culture,
All we want is a Dunlop tire and the devil mend the puncture.

The Laird o’ Phelps spent Hogmanay declaring he was sober,
Counted his feet to prove the fact and found he had one foot over.
Mrs. Carmichael had her fifth, looked at the job with repulsion,
Said to the midwife “Take it away; I’m through with overproduction.”

It’s no go the gossip column, it’s no go the Ceilidh,(1)
All we want is a mother’s help and a sugar-stick for the baby.

Willie Murray cut his thumb, couldn’t count the damage,
Took the hide of an Ayrshire cow and used it for a bandage.
His brother caught three hundred cran when the seas were lavish,
Threw the bleeders back in the sea and went upon the parish.

It’s no go the Herring Board, it’s no go the Bible,
All we want is a packet of fags when our hands are idle.

It’s no go the picture palace, it’s no go the stadium,
It’s no go the country cot with a pot of pink geraniums,
It’s no go the Government grants, it’s no go the elections,
Sit on your arse for fifty years and hang your hat on a pension.

It’s no go my honey love, it’s no go my poppet;
Work your hands from day to day, the winds will blow the profit.
The glass is falling hour by hour, the glass will fall forever,
But if you break the bloody glass you won’t hold up the weather.

– Louis MacNeice