Christopher Robin
Had wheezles
And sneezles,
They bundled him
His bed.
They gave him what goes
With a cold in the nose,
And some more for a cold
In the head.
They wondered
If wheezles
Could turn
Into measles,
If sneezles
Would turn
Into mumps;
They examined his chest
For a rash,
And the rest
Of his body for swellings and lumps.
They sent for some doctors
In sneezles
And wheezles
To tell them what ought
To be done.
All sorts and conditions
Of famous physicians
Came hurrying round
At a run.
They all made a note
Of the state of his throat,
They asked if he suffered from thirst;
They asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles,
Or if the first sneezle
Came first.
They said, “If you teazle
A sneezle
Or wheezle,
A measle
May easily grow.
But humour or pleazle
The wheezle
Or sneezle,
The measle
Will certainly go.”
They expounded the reazles
For sneezles
And wheezles,
The manner of measles
When new.
They said “If he freezles
In draughts and in breezles,
May even ensue.”


Christopher Robin
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in his eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
“Now, how to amuse them to-day?”

– A. A. Milne


This one goes out to everyone who’s suffered a horde of doctors asking them “But which came first, your cough or the fever?”, “And how many times did that happen?”, and sundry questions of that nature.
I’m very fond of Milne, who’s best known for his character Winnie-the-Pooh, rather than for the stories, plays and sketches he wrote for adult audiences. We’ve run another poem by Milne on this site, Disobedience, here.
You can read a bit more about Milne here and here, and his thoughts about how his library ought be arranged here.

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  1. Blackbeard

    Enjoyed this one thoroughly. Thanks.

    Posted July 20, 2012 at 02:11 | Permalink | Reply
    • Madhu

      My pleasure, Achyut. You should show this to the young ‘un.

      Posted July 20, 2012 at 09:24 | Permalink

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