live so that you
can stick out your tongue
at the insurance
doctor
**
if you will drink
hair restorer follow
every dram with some
good standard
depilatory
as a chaser
**
many a man spanks his
children for
things his own
father should have
spanked out of him
**
i once heard the survivors
of a colony of ants
that had been partially
obliterated by a cow s foot
seriously debating
the intention of the gods
towards their civilization
**
if you get gloomy just
take an hour off and sit
and think how
much better this world
is than hell
of course it won t cheer
you up much if
you expect to go there
**
that stern and
rockbound coast felt
like an amateur
when it saw how grim
the puritans that
landed on it were
**
insects have
their own point
of view about
civilization a man
thinks he amounts
to a great deal
but to a
flea or a
mosquito a
human being is
merely something
good to eat
**
just as soon as the
uplifters get
a country reformed it
slips into a nose dive
**
if monkey glands
did restore your youth
what would you do
with it
question mark
just what you did before
interrogation point
**
every cloud
has its silver
lining but it is
sometimes a little
difficult to get it to
the mint
**
prohibition makes you
want to cry
into your beer and
denies you the beer
to cry into
**
procrastination is the
art of keeping
up with yesterday
**
don t cuss the climate
it probably doesn t like you
any better
than you like it
**
i do not see why men
should be so proud
insects have the more
ancient lineage
according to the scientists
insects were insects
when man was only
a burbling whatisit
**
lots of people can make
their own whisky but
can t drink it
**
i heard a
couple of fleas
talking the other
day says one come
to lunch with
me i can lead you
to a pedigreed
dog says the
other one
i do not care
what a dog s
pedigree may be
safety first
is my motto what
i want to know
is whether he
has got a
muzzle on
millionaires and
bums taste
about alike to me
**
boss the other day
i heard an
ant conversing
with a flea
small talk i said
disgustedly
and went away
from there
**
an optimist is a guy
that has never had
much experience
**
the servant problem
wouldn t hurt the u s a
if it could settle
its public
servant problem
**
there is always
something to be thankful
for you would not
think that a cockroach
had much ground
for optimism
but as the fishing season
opens up i grow
more and more
cheerful at the thought
that nobody ever got
the notion of using
cockroaches for bait
**
the bees got their
governmental system settled
millions of years ago
but the human race is still
groping
– archy (Don Marquis)
Tagged: animals, archy, Don Marquis, humorous poems, maxims, philosophy, social commentary